Men's Postpartum Depression: Myth or Reality?

It's only been in recent years that society has accepted the fact that a substantial number of new mothers become depressed in the weeks and months after the arrival of their babies. Growing evidence is mounting that new fathers also experience nearly the same type of postpartum depression as their partners. They, too, can feel a sense of stress and depression when transitioning into their new parental responsibilities.

Men have traditionally been viewed as the "rock" of the family, and of society itself - unable to express emotion or admit weakness, feeling only a drive for power and success. That old-world mindset is rapidly changing. Men are becoming empowered to admit their true feelings on issues their forefathers wouldn't have dared to address, including the depression they sometimes feel following the birth of a child.

I recently interviewed men's mental health professional, Dr. Will Courtney, to unearth some valuable insight on this condition that often plagues new fathers. He shared this: "So often, parents expect this experience of "baby bliss" that everyone suggests parenting is going to be like. Then, suddenly, this screaming, helpless infant is in their laps and they don't know what to do to calm this baby or soothe it. Suddenly, things start feeling a lot more difficult than they ever expected."

A rising social mindset is allowing new fathers to express their feelings more truthfully. This is finally shedding light on paternal postnatal depression, unrecognized until now.
For both sexes, parenthood is a life-altering event. Couples are turned into threesomes in the short amount of time that it takes the baby to be born. Although most men report feeling satisfied with being a father, they also report that making this transition can be quite daunting. In its most severe state, men's postpartum depression (also known as Paternal Post-Natal Depression) may necessitate help from a mental health professional who is sensitive to the needs of new fathers and understands the condition.

Sadness, loss of interest, and crying - symptoms that might accompany a new mom during postpartum depression are not atypical of the new father undergoing the same issues and dealing with postpartum depression. Men are notorious for masking their true feelings, so a man's outward signs may be a bit hard to detect. The best clues to a possible onset of the condition are signs that something has changed in a challenging way, or a feeling that something isn't quite "right" in his behavior.

According to Dr. Courtney, men may try to avoid parenting and new fatherhood altogether, a sort of "out of sight out of mind" mentality. "I'm hearing a lot from new dads about the experience of not being able to tolerate being around the baby. They can't stand the baby's cries, the screaming; they say it makes them crazy. Or, they can't stand to smell the baby, or to even see it or hold it. Typically, men feel horribly guilty about feeling that way, and also very confused because this is not what they were told to expect with the birth of their child. All they really know to do is to try to get away from the thing that is kind of making them feel all of these things. They end up spending as much time as they can at the office."

Before, during, or after the pregnancy, both new fathers and new mothers can begin to plan for possible postpartum depression by:

• Understanding the condition from both the father's and the mother's point of view, and accepting that postpartum depression is NOT just an "old wives' tale."
• For those new parents or parents-to-be with a history of depression, beginning mental health counseling before the baby arrives is recommended.
• Open up lines of communication within the couple's relationship. Many couples have problems when it comes to communicating their feelings with one another.
• Couple's counseling during pregnancy may be necessary to better understand the issues you might have and develop more confidence in the new partnership you are about to enter.
• Although it is not practical to resolve all of your financial problems before having children, be aware that many of the problems that families experience are related to their finances. Establish a working budget before, during, or after the pregnancy in order to alleviate some of the stressors in the family.
• Establish a reliable network of support that you can turn to when you need a hand, whether it is with babysitting, shopping, or other duties.
  
  The most important thing for new fathers and mothers to understand when it comes to postpartum depression is that it is a completely natural condition that millions of other new parents have gone through. With appropriate treatment and counseling, parenthood will feel more natural to both of you, and you will finally be able to relax and enjoy your new bundle of love.

Life With Postpartum Mood Disorders: Are You Perfectly Normal or Going Insane?

New mothers rarely admit to the full extent of their stress level or to the difficult emotions they live with. After all, women with new babies are supposed to feel blissful, loving and grateful for the miracle of new life in their care, right?

Many new moms fear they will be thought of as unfit mothers if other people knew the truth about their feelings. They may never ask for help because they don't have a baseline sense of what is actually normal and what's not.

What many people don't know is that mood swings, irritability, fatigue, persistent tearfulness, forgetfulness and anxiety are common symptoms in new mothers. The vast majority of birth mothers cope with some version of the "baby blues." The good news is that these symptoms generally pass without any intervention within a couple of weeks. The postpartum mother's' body simply needs a little time to normalize the tremendous fluctuations in hormone levels after giving birth.

But what if the symptoms are more severe and last longer? What if depression, hopelessness, feelings of vulnerability and inadequacy as a wife and mother, lack of interest in the baby or oneself, low level of daily functioning or severe mood swings are part of the mix? Surely this is crazy, right? Wrong. These symptoms are common in the 10% - 17% of women who experience postpartum depression.

What if the level of intensity is ramped up? What if a new mom has unreasonable fears, panic attacks, obsessions about cleanliness and germs, or visions of something bad happening to the baby and not being able to do anything about it? This may indicate postpartum obsessive-compulsive disorder, a bit more severe than postpartum depression, but still in the postpartum mood disorder continuum, and still sane.

What about the women who get sensationalized on the news, the ones who think their babies are from the devil? We've all heard stories about new mothers who think they were told to hurt themselves or their babies. Can these women be sane?

In these cases, they are dealing with the severe end of the postpartum mood disorder spectrum. This is the line between crazy and sane. Only one or two out of every 1000 women will cope with this rare disorder. Their auditory and visual hallucinations can be quite dangerous. Women with postpartum psychosis need immediate medical attention and hospitalization, and yes, their babies will have to be taken care of by other people for a while.

I like to put it this way: Anytime a new mom is worried about the well being of herself and her child, she is probably still sane. After all, it takes a significant level of self awareness to be concerned about one's thoughts and feelings. Rather than judging or ostracizing new mothers with postpartum mood disorders, let's make it easier to get help. Every symptom I've described is 100% treatable, and help is available now.